Teaching Kids Common Sense
I still can’t believe this was even an issue. For several weeks my 10-year-old son kept asking, “Mom, can I take my iPod ($200) to school for reward day?” (He earned the money to buy it himself.)
I figured he must have misunderstood the teacher, so I told him, “We’ll wait until we hear from your teacher.”
Then on Friday we got a permission slip saying kids could bring any portable electronic device to school as a reward for high scores on the state assessment tests — including laptops.
I was stunned. Who would let children bring $200+ electronics to school?
I spoke with the teacher to ask if there were alternative rewards for families who didn’t want expensive electronics coming to class. She said students could bring a board game or a different item instead.
I asked, “Am I the only parent who has a problem with a $200 iPod at school?”
She replied, “Well, I do have a large stack of signed permission slips.”
I said, “You’ve got to be kidding me!”
She explained, “The kids voted on the choice of rewards and they chose electronic devices.”
Why was that even an option?
Her defense was, “This prepares them to be responsible in middle school,” since they will be taking items like iPods and cell phones to class.
I found that reasoning hard to accept.
It means parents now have to teach children that not all rewards offered by teachers are sensible and help them learn to pick appropriate alternatives.
We talked to our son and explained that the teacher’s approval doesn’t automatically make something smart. We asked if it was worth the risk of losing a $200 device for about 45 minutes of play at school. He said no, which I hope helped him see the bigger picture.
My point — besides venting — is this: if you have young children, start teaching common sense now. When situations like this arise, talk with your kids about how to make wise choices. In a couple of years, when he’s in middle school, he’ll know that a cell phone isn’t appropriate just because everyone else has one.
We did agree to find another reward for him. He asked, “Can I have a donut from Dillons (our local Kroger)?” We said sure — a $0.40 donut is a much better option than risking a broken or stolen $200 iPod.
So… would you let your child take a $200 iPod to school?
-Tawra
PS. This was written a couple of years ago. BJ is now in middle school and doesn’t even care that he’s almost the only one without a cell phone or other electronic device at school. He’s surprised that other kids would risk losing them and can’t understand why they think they need one.
Mike’s Two Cents: I have to add my perspective. We do our children a disservice when we give them phones and other expensive items simply because “everybody” has them. That sends the message that peer behavior overrides judgment. It conflicts with what we teach about resisting peer pressure and leaves kids confused. Excessive time with portable electronics — especially smartphones and internet-connected devices — trains children to be consumers rather than teaching constructive skills.
Part of teaching financial responsibility is showing kids they don’t need every new gadget. Hearing “no” sometimes is healthy. Our rule: if kids want something like an iPod, they must earn the money themselves. When they spend their own money, they make more careful decisions. That doesn’t mean they can buy anything they want; some devices, like cell phones, are items we’ve decided not to allow while they live under our roof. As parents, we should protect them while we’re responsible and teach them how to make responsible choices when they’re on their own.
Smartphones also allow access to things parents can’t fully control. I heard a father at the YMCA telling another dad he pays for his 14-year-old daughter’s iPhone, but she won’t let him see what she’s doing, who she’s communicating with, or what she’s viewing online. Who’s the parent there? It’s a clear sign something is off when a parent pays for a device but isn’t permitted to monitor it. If trouble follows later, that parent may be surprised.
photo by: mukluk